Warped Tour ‘09

If Coachella is a platter of Mini Sirloin Burgers, Warped Tour is those little cocktail weenies. The sets are so short, the bands don’t even work up a sweat – and it was hot out there! Yet it was simply impossible to get bored with any band, no matter how bad they were. And believe me, there was so much crap, you’d almost think racing was still going on at this county fair racetrack. (I was nearly willing to trade all of these acts for that guy that plays the cool trumpet to announce each race).

If you throw together eight stages of bands, however, at least some of them will be good, right? For example, Thrice’s impassioned rock and roll is just too good for this backyard party. Nevertheless, these OC boys ruled the main stage – at least until Bad Religion closed out the day there. Oh, The Ataris also didn’t embarrass themselves. But what do we make of 30Hi3? The Beastie Boys create authentic white rap, but this pair makes me want to scream, ‘Come back Vanilla Ice! All’s forgiven!’ The Devil Wears Prada also did whatever it does, while Less Than Jake played less than compelling ska. For what it’s worth, Underoath, Anti-Flag, and NOFX also made brief main stage appearances.

Among these eight temporary venues was one called Old School Stage. The Dickies, with their silly puppets and equally silly songs, proved that punk rock can be fun. Elsewhere, on the Hurley.com stage – not to be confused with the Hurley Stage – sisters Meg & Dia sounded pretty. Pretty? At Warped? Go figure!

If nothing else, Warped is a great place to people-watch. One had to wonder what was going through all those parents’ minds as they babysat their teens. Speaking of reading minds, what was going through that guy’s mind in the Christian t-shirt, handing out wristbands for the beer garden? Perhaps he was thinking, ‘If Jesus were here, he’d turn the water into wine so that kids wouldn’t feel the pain while moshing.’ And just when you thought you’d found the one place without Michael Jackson hype, there went two girls with homemade MJ tribute shirts. Beat it!

A voice keeps telling me that you go to Disneyland with your parents, not to punk festivals. But then again, Warped Tour is hardly all-punk anymore, anyhow. But as long as you’re loud, and you keep the f-bombs flowing in between songs, you’ll fit right in. If nothing else, these factors will test your parents’ patience and love.

Tagged as: California, Warped Tour

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